No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
