I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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