Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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