and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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