considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
