i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We need to get me chipped asap
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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