i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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