I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
two words...techno handjob
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
