i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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