Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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