He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
