Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
