You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
