wanna go halves on a baby?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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