You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
