i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize