time to smoke my breakfast
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
