Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
