My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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