i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
