Don't you send me to vm
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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