The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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