im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Green mimosas i think yes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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