absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Welp...herpes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize