i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we're making bets on your personal life
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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