Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
