Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
