Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
