If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
