grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
