After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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