To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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