i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
