On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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