He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Operation Purity has been aborted
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
