i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
