Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
