Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
