She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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