don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize