did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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