i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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