wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
