am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
