it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
