Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize