***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
