the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
