I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
