i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize