do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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