I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
