Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
