Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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