i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
