My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
