Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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