Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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