Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize