dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
