Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
