They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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